angst

existential angst sucks. I sit here and listen to blue train and it's 1:19 am and I'm feeling the lack of sensation in my life. I'm constantly torn between the appeal of the written word and the actuality of living.

Reading is easier.

But I'm older now and the sensations of my youth no longer suffice. Don't I have this backwards? Am I not supposed to be more comfortable with the idea of adventure as I get older, rather than the reality of it. Or is it simply that I don't know what real adventure is?

Probably the latter, since I lack the _______ to change certain aspects of my life.