what's in it for me

This is the question that's been on my mind lately. It seems to me that I'm doing all the things I need to do to maintain my place in society (work, marriage, respectable behaviour). And I'm wondering what the balance point is. What reward?

I do what I'm supposed to do, and it seems that the only reward is that people aren't offended. They think I'm a perfectly nice guy and what? That's it. Wow, you're a real sweetheart is supposed to compensate for the suppressed rage and worse, mind and soul numbing boredom. 

But what to do, guilt rules my life.