Sunday, March 02, 2008

angst

existential angst sucks. I sit here and listen to blue train and it's 1:19 am and I'm feeling the lack of sensation in my life. I'm constantly torn between the appeal of the written word and the actuality of living.

Reading is easier.

But I'm older now and the sensations of my youth no longer suffice. Don't I have this backwards? Am I not supposed to be more comfortable with the idea of adventure as I get older, rather than the reality of it. Or is it simply that I don't know what real adventure is?

Probably the latter, since I lack the _______ to change certain aspects of my life.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's just too subjective to pin down anyways. Like beauty, isn't adventure in the eye of the beholder? Or like pain...how do you quantify it? For some, it's an adventure to go outside their front door. The same terrible stimulus that pushes you to betray your country may only make me sweat and smile.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

You'll find what you're looking for.

One day.

demon_masque said...

Thanks for your comment, I really liked it