pining

So I've been pining for her the last few days. I'm not sure if that desire is the cause of or consequence of my general sense of ennui. In any case, it seems to have passed and I may (fingers crossed) be experiencing some degree of rehabilitated ambition for the rest of my life.

Still, I've been listening to the CDs she made me and been filled with the desire to just talk to her. Of course it isn't like that, if I spoke to her today, I'd not be able to say "well, I'll chat with you in a couple of months". It's like any drug, once you have a little that's good, you want more. But with relationships it's worse sometimes, cause even if it's bad you want more because you're convinced it can be better, better than it ever was when it was good. And the damn thing is, is that that's true. But I think it's as much the work you do as the digging deeper. Are the two things any different.

I miss you baby, not that that sentiment helps either of us.